Go For a Drive
Enjoy the views on the road from Tirana to Elbasan as you cross a 2000m mountain pass. Try not to scream as a Mercedes-Benz, overtaking on a blind bend at 60mph, forces you to the edge of the unguarded 500m drop.
Build Your Own Power Station
When Albania collapsed in 1997 everything that could be looted was looted. A browse round the electrical market, housed in a warren of old vans and shipping containers, might produce enough parts to start your own energy utility.
Offer a Safe Driving Award
Promise 10,000 Lek (US$100) to the first careful driver you see. Then go and spend the money on yourself. You will never have to pay out.
Dine At Piazza
Opened by an Albanian-American family, this is one of the best restaurants in town and one of the few places to offer good quality meat, well prepared. The service is good and the prices are reasonable.
Watch the Albanian Premiership
For only 300 Lek (US$ 3) you can watch Tirana's best soccer teams in action at the Qemal Stafa stadium. Albanian soccer is hardly top notch but the fans are entertaining even if the game is not. If you are a woman you will be the only one there.
Play 'Don't Fall Down the Hole'
Someone in the city government had the bright idea of offering money as an incentive to recycle. The result? Tirana's manhole covers disappeared. Amateur players are allowed torches at night; professionals play by moonlight only.
Buy a Cheap Mercedes
With the highest proportion of M-Bs in the world there are plenty of buying opportunities. Just don't try to take your new car out of the country. Most of them are stolen and still carry their original German and Italian licence plates.
Dine at Juvenilja
Juvenilja serves the best pizza in town in a pleasant location by the park. Enjoy some gangster chic at the same time. The previous owner was blown up in an elevator. Spot the furtive men in black through the fug of smoke.
Spared the horrors of industrial baking, Tirana abounds in little local bakeries where all kinds of bread is baked fresh every day. All are good, some are superb. Wash it down with coffee and a sticky bun at one of the countless cafes.
The city is shambolic and endlessly frustrating, but the streets are safe and the locals are friendly. Experience the last outpost of post-communist chaos while you still can.