Dogs, George Best, Chickens and Roads

Dogs

It good to know that my years of peace-making and conflict-resolution skills have not gone to waste. Two of our sweet good-natured gentle dogs tried to tear each other’s throats out the other day.

Having dragged Bella off Sampras, little timid Sampras set upon Bella – a dog about twice her weight. So I dragged Sampras of Bella before she got thrown off and was standing there on one leg with Sampras by the scruff of the neck in one hand, while trying to keep Bella at bay with the other foot.

Good old Dougal, being a bit thick, seemed to think it was all a great game and as I wobbled on one leg he jumped up on me so that we all went down in a heap at which point Bella promptly attacked Sampras again.

Only a few well-aimed kicks finally separated them, at which point I switched from peace-enforcement mode to conflict-resolution mode. I was about to pull out my portable flip-chart and give the dogs a seminar on the importance of mutual respect and the benefits of dialogue as a means of dealing with our differences, but I decided that since it doesn’t really work with people it was unlikely to work with the dogs.

So I decided to try some Alternative Dispute Resolution strategies – or ADR as we CR people like to say when we are trying to convince people that we are real professionals. You have probable heard of horse whispering; well, I tried some dog-whispering. It’s much the same except you have to squat – unless the dog is standing on a box or something – so it’s much harder on the legs.

Once I managed to get Bella in a headlock and eyeball her for a few moments, we had a long conversation about her unacceptable behaviour. I think I detected a look of remorse in her eyes – or it may just have been amusement.

Eventually we continued our walk in the park. Bella even got some sausages out of it since I was feeling guilty about having kicked her. You will be pleased to hear that we are all friends again now.

George Best

On my way back from the park on Sunday I met Spartak. He said something about the dogs and I did my usual ‘nuk kuptoj’. At that point he started chatting in English and, on discovering that I came from Northern Ireland, began to reminisce about watching George Best playing for Northern Ireland against Albania in 1965 during a World Cup qualifying match.

He also told me that his father had been a vice-minister under Hoxha; that a woman from Londonderry had tried to convert him to Christianity (he’s a non-practising Muslim); that he’s in the Guinness Book of Records for two footed walking keepy-uppy; and that he was a teacher and now is now a football coach with the 11 year olds at Dinamo. It was a very pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Chickens

It’s official. Albania has now joined the ranks of those countries where bird flu has been detected. It appears that a chicken somewhere near the Greek border is the guilty party. No panic yet, but I will keep you informed.

Roads

You may recall that over one month ago I mentioned that the road outside our house was benefiting from a enthusiastic spurt of construction. Unfortunately, the spurt subsided about three days later. For the last month our road has remained sealed off while the plant sits at the bottom of the street slowly rusting and the workers do – I don’t know what.

In the meantime the small sidestreets that are now the only means of access to the houses in the street, and which are themselves unfinished, are starting to disintegrate and fall apart.

Since our house has a flat roof it may to be time to invest in a helicopter.